The Day I Realized The End Was Near

A mug of coffee and the flick of a bright orange lighter, igniting what would be my fourth cigarette of the morning, as I sit in front of the computer breathing the devils smoke I try to sort the ideas in my head that I have learned, witnessed, and birthed from my own conscience. I have seen many things in my short existence here on this marvelous sphere and have had many experiences that have contributed to who I am today. As a child I learned about God and what it was to lose someone to death. I learned love, compassion, racism, hatred, and what it was to be an alcoholic. The end is near my mother would say as she desperately attempted to bring me close to God so that I might have a chance to survive Armageddon and see my resurrected brother. Although I had three siblings I was an only child from my father and perhaps the black sheep of the family. Lonely and longing to belong and feel special I often fantasized of many things including who I would be in the future. My mind was filled with many dreams and hopes but consumed with emotions and conflicting role models as I tried to figure out who I was. After seeing my brother’s death on T.V. all week-long starting December 27th 1985 I believe something changed in me. This was my first true experience of overwhelming pain and sadness, and how a loss of life could destroy the very fabric of a home. I was only seven years old but the experience resonated within me and I have carried it always. As a matter of fact I built an empire of anger that would prove to take control of my future and have a great effect on my relationships. My father was a hard worker and always has been, but he also was an alcoholic. My mother has battled severe depression all her life and has been hospitalized many times. Even my father was hospitalized once and then at twelve years old the system somehow managed to put me in a mental hospital.

Although I was wrongfully admitted I still witnessed and experienced horrible things in that Psychiatric Institute. At this point I lost every last drop of trust and to this day do not trust any living thing walking on this planet. Like a well-scripted movie I smoked my first joint that year and moved my sites from becoming something great to becoming feared. I eventually joined gangs and became a nuisance to public schools and authorities. I became a drug dealer and escaped death many times and begun to feel invincible. By the age of eighteen I had lost touch with reality and was facing over forty years in prison. I had a rap sheet as thick as a bible and no high school diploma. It’s amazing how quick your thoughts can change when locked in a tiny box with no chance of freedom. This is the moment when you fall to your knees and beg the God you had forsaken. After receiving only three and a half years for the multiple crimes I was charged with I knew God saw something in me that I hadn’t. I survived the riots, the politics, a few razor cuts, and was released February 2002 a new man. Today I sit and write because although God and I see something good in me the world does not. I am what they call a violent offender and thus unemployable. It has been 17 years since I had made those poor judgments but will be judged for eternity. It is 2015 now and the world has completely changed. It has become a scary place filled with great violence, immorality, hatred, and governments with false agendas. As I sit and watch the news daily I begin to think about the book of Revelations and all that it prophesied. I am not religious and by no means a preacher but I do have an accumulated wisdom and a knack for spotting the obvious. I don’t need to explain the disgust of school shootings, warfare, infant rape, and the many other things our wonderful news stations bring in to our homes, as I know you have heard it or seen it with your own ears and eyes. As I accept my eternal judgement from this cruel world, I merely wish to express that today is the day I realized the end is near. I pray for all of us that we may find peace and love before we rest.

Billions of little dots

Lyricals Thoughts

With my mind drifting to the cosmos, and looking down on this beautiful planet created by something so great, so great it is hard for today’s people to grasp or even agree upon. I slowly zoom in and focus on the billions of dots on this planet there are to identify with. Spinning the globe in circles you can see the vast amount of people and life on this sphere of amazing potential and possibilities. I cannot help but wander into the many minds and thoughts of a species to be the most intelligent of all known life here on this planet. Smart enough to control and monitor diabetes in patients wearing eye contacts containing microscopic computer chips, and able to track life as far as DNA will allow. Building cars that can drive themselves, and cloning your favorite pet for a hansom price. As I look through different eyes…

View original post 180 more words

Life of the Party

Tags

, , , , , ,

#Tora #LOTP #TeamTora

Where beauty and music meet!

I must say I had a truly blessed experience this past Sunday at the “Life of the Party” music video shoot for Tora Woloshin. My eyes drifted as many models, dancers, and actors moved around, all with a special part in the making of Tora’s music video. I met some beautiful people and bumped shoulders with many beautiful minds all working for one goal. The set was staged on a breath taking Arizona mountaintop in a luxurious mansion owned by the one and only Tony Granito. It was an honor to be invited to witness Tora bringing her wonderful creation to life with such vibrancy and energy. There was fun and laughter as people from the community came together and got involved with this great project. When this video is released on New Years many will no doubt have their souls injected with astonishing music complimented by an amazing singer and cast. The producer was well prepared and extremely focused. The natural beauty of the venue as well as the beautiful models that blessed the set had me mesmerized. I watched as the cast swiftly changed outfits from cowboys to rockers, hockey players to bikers, and what’s a video without gangsters? I found it easy to be sucked into the spirit of creativity at its best and walked away with an amazing experience. So many people fail to realize the hard work and creativity that goes into the entertainment industry. Today I tip my hat to Tora and all those who participated in bringing this exciting idea to life.

Billions of little dots

With my mind drifting to the cosmos, and looking down on this beautiful planet created by something so great, so great it is hard for today’s people to grasp or even agree upon. I slowly zoom in and focus on the billions of dots on this planet there are to identify with. Spinning the globe in circles you can see the vast amount of people and life on this sphere of amazing potential and possibilities. I cannot help but wander into the many minds and thoughts of a species to be the most intelligent of all known life here on this planet. Smart enough to control and monitor diabetes in patients wearing eye contacts containing microscopic computer chips, and able to track life as far as DNA will allow. Building cars that can drive themselves, and cloning your favorite pet for a hansom price. As I look through different eyes I see many different stories. Stories that make me cringe with fear and sadness, stories that bring tears of joy, stories hard to fathom or understand. I have seen through the eyes of a greedy powerful human being and what it brings. I have seen through the eyes of a poor hungry human being and what it brings. If so intelligent why is this species more concerned with chaos and wealth than its very own survival? Why does it not embrace love and humility, a couple of the greatest powers within? To rejoice for newborns without worries of food, and rely on nature not the technologies of the beast would be but a wonderful dream. My own eyes have witnessed far too much for my brain to process. Overwhelmed by this society and the madness that has come of intelligence and greed I make haste and remove myself as I cannot correct your path and will not partake in viewing something so beautiful destroy itself for the mere pleasures and polluted thoughts of those consumed by greed, power, and wealth.